Saturday, April 10, 2010

When You Have To Go


This is sort of a delicate subject that is not much discussed in polite company or in many survival discussions, yet it is one of the basic necessary functions of biological organisms, that is.... going. Going to the lav-a-"tree", lightening your load, making mud, taking the Browns to the Superbowl, pinching a loaf, #2, 10-100. By this I also mean all the other personal excretions, discharges, and micturations that one occasionally needs to do as a healthy human being.

Without getting into clinical detail, I plan to briefly discuss the "how to" strategies when a modern "sit down" flush toilet is not available, and then go on to discuss the clean-up and hygiene issues more extensively. Some of you may be chuckling now or may be dismissive about the importance of having a good procedure, but I can aver that there can potentially be some serious consequences of not doing it right (or well). And I daresay, there are many city-dwellers who have never had the experience of having to go in the woods and are totally baffled (sometimes with hilarious results).

Some cultures that I have seen have no sense of shyness about these natural bodily functions. It's many a time that I've seen men and women squattin' in plain view beside the road, and even in some modern cities, a guy whipping it out and peeing against the side of a building is not uncommon. It's actually a fascinating and eye-opening aspect of anthropology to learn how different people around the world "go". And I am by no means looking down on or implying that we in the US (the Western world) have any claim to superiority in this regard. In fact, I'd say that the common American system (flush toilets and TP) is rather primitive and relatively unhygienic even compared to other countries that I have seen (like Japan, with freshly sanitized seats, seat warmers, front and back wash systems, moist towelettes, blow dryers, even optional "noise" for the shy). If it seems excessive, just think of it another way. Like perhaps the best, most hygienic system would be to have a complete shower/wash down after each bodily excretion. The Japanese have just modernized the bidet and created a mini-shower system.

I think the first consideration in "going" is considering a suitable spot. Secluded seems to be the main consideration, but even more important is "secure" and safe (as far as sanition). Don't go where you're vulnerable to enemy fire or can be caught literally with your pants down if something attacks. So choose a place with limited avenues of approach, cover or camouflage on three sides, and good visibility on the fourth direction. If you are in open terrain, a depression in the ground might be the only option. "Go" with your back to the tree, facing outward. Part of "secure" means checking for sharp objects, thorns, poisonous plants, fire ant hills/trails, hornet's nests, badger dens, coiled snakes.... first. I think everyone's heard the old joke about getting snakebit down there and someone having to suck out the poison (punchline: "you're going to die"). Safe means not contaminating your campsite or worse yet your water source. A minimum of 50 yards uphill from water is a good general rule.

Now, I completely understand the arguments about so-called "low impact camping" and leave nothing behind, but, you know, 1) in a survival situation, I say normal rules are suspended (only Natural Law applies... so beg, borrow, steal, kill or be killed, and defecate wherever you need to). It's all good. 2) humans are animals too, and they have just as much right to "be" in a place as any other organism. I am not advocating blatantly vandalizing the wilderness, de-spoiling a biome, or being wasteful of natural resources, but merely leaving footprints, crunching foliage, exhaling carbon dioxide, (gasp!) digging a hole or making a campfire, and leaving normal, bio-degradable waste products in the woods like any other animal is NOT a crime IMO. Unnatural waste and destruction is a crime, trash, careless use of fire, polluting water, marring trees, and as far as I am concerned, killing unnecessarily (for sport). So if you feel you can spare the time/energy.... please bag up your poop like some outdoors enthusiasts proscribe and haul it out with you, or.... just make a reasonable attempt to make it part of the biome (covering it with dirt and detritus so that natural decomposition starts). The exception might be in an evasion situation, where leaving signs like that behind might assist pursuers.

The mechanics of going au naturel involves doffing equipment and getting access. If you are with a team or a partner, I would leave large equipment and gear with them (to secure). I loosen personal equipment, but try to keep it on my person. I use military 2-point suspenders that readily unhook from my belt, something to consider when putting on one's layers. So LBE, suspenders, waist belt, then fly and I'm ready to go. No matter how many bottom layers I wear, I just pull all the layers down past my knee joints as one. I'm comfortable just squatting, but occasionally a natural "seat" or leaning against the tree or rock is restful. Do NOT sit on the ground... lol. If you're male, I recommend doing #1 and #2 as separate functions. For a "tactical" sh**, try to go as quickly as feasible. Hopefully, you will have a buddy to stand security for you (like a meerkat.... lol). Leaning forward, and rocking are suggested techniques for getting it started if that's a problem.

Before I streamlined my "system" I used to carry around compact packets of toilet paper, liquid hand sanitizer, a portable John, matches, and disposable toilet seat covers in my "kit" (about the size of a soap case). I still have all of these items, and they are still effective in various situations, but for the most basic outdoor functioning, I now just carry a single flat packet of 10 moist anti-bacterial towelettes. They are substantially thick and work well as toilet paper. Afterward, they can be used for hand washing. And then among the many field uses, they are also handy for a waterless "field bath" (I can do a rudimentary personal hygiene at the end of the day with just 3 wipes).
Important: be sure that no sand, grit, and other contaminant objects have either been picked up by one's underwear or adhered to one's skin, because when one needs to be mobile the smallest grain of sand will cause chafing, irritation, breaks in the skin, subsequent infection, fever, and debilitation. You see where I'm going with this.

Whether they are individually packaged (like at KFC), in resealable 10 packs, larger household resealable 48 packs or the economy sized plastic dispensers, the moist towelette is an invaluable travel companion in general. Having some in your coat/vest pocket, in your satchel or rucksack, or secreted away in every side pocket of your luggage can come in handy in many travel situations, from messy ill-supplied public restrooms to freshening up at the end of the day on a long road trip when a shower is not available. I try to get the wipes that have the most extra features... aloe, vitamin E, anti-microbial, witch hazel, lotion, etc. The only ones that I tend to avoid for personal hygiene use are the ones with alcohol and/or other chemical de-con agents like chlorine bleach. Those can irritate sensitive areas of skin.

Let us briefly consider the purpose and function of "underwear". Despite what it has evolved (mutated)) into in the prurient allure and fashion meaning of the word, (ala Victoria's Secret), at the most fundamental level, underwear, or the layer of clothing closest to the skin, is either a support garment, insulative layer, and/or a liner (or barrier). For both males and females it keeps our soft and vulnerable parts safe from injury also (pinching, abrasions, chafing, etc). And bluntly, underwear serves as a barrier layer between one's bodily contamination residue, secretions and discharges, and one's more expensive, harder to launder outer clothing. A diaper is another type of liner. So I bring up this subject only to consider... it is possible in exigent situations to introduce an extra layer or layers of liners possibly as a temporary barrier. Something that you can do in, excuse the expression, a pinch.

When I travel, I carry along a handy little disposable, portable gel-John. It is basically this plastic bag containing this powder chemical substance. The opening has a built in "female adaptor" so that females can use it also (standing up?). When one pees into it, the liquid urine is instantly converted into a thick, easier to manage gel-like substance, that doesn't slosh or spill and can be disposed of in a trash can. It's a life-saver in certain road trip situations.

Almost any receptacle can be "lined" with a plastic bag and serve as a commode for a shelter or disaster scene. I invested in a "toilet seat" that snaps onto the top of a 5 gallon paint or laundry detergent barrel. Blue odor neutralizing toilet chemicals are readily available. Don't forget to stock TP, moist wipes, hand sanitizer, reading material, and extra liners, stocked in organizer pockets made by bucket boss. There are many commercially available variations on the portable chem toilet, some more solid and elaborate, some more flimsy and spare, even inflatable (though I wouldn't want to be the one to re-inflate one of these).

When outdoors or able to use surrounding open land, especially with multiple people to service, conventional latrines (like slit trenches) can be dug and utilized. Designating a well thought out area for this function keeps people from randomly contaminating living areas, food prep areas, potable water sources, and minimizes redundancy and workload.

1 comment:

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